


A Brunch With Death

by scowlofjustice



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Blind Date, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 22:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2325467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scowlofjustice/pseuds/scowlofjustice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after his arrival in Night Vale, Carlos is set up for a rather unusual blind date.  His companion, "Bill Door," is not who he claims to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Brunch With Death

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a writing prompt that shoves two characters together in a random scenario. I ended up with Carlos from Welcome to Night Vale going on a date with Death from Discworld.

Carlos was a Scientist. He studied Science. It was this fact combined with his adjustment to the skewed nature of reality present in Night Vale that allowed him to see things as they actually were.1 It was vaguely possible—although he couldn't be entirely certain—that a large number of Night Vale citizens also saw things as they were. The difference, however, is that they had been raised on the principle that if you see something, say nothing...and drink to forget.

He mentioned this to his date, who only responded in a voice that was not a voice, but rather a thought that entered directly into his mind:

I HAVE TRIED DRINKING TO FORGET ONCE.2 UNFORTUNATELY, ALCOHOL GOES RIGHT THROUGH ME.

Carlos nodded politely. He had long ago noticed that his companion was not _quite_ of the description that he'd been provided with. In an odd twist of fate, John Peters (you know, the farmer) had set Carlos up on a date with his old friend, Bill Door. Approximately fives minutes into this date, however, Carlos had picked up on the fact that Bill Door was no ordinary farmer, but a seven-foot tall skeleton wearing overalls and a straw hat. However, he was new enough to this sprawling metropolis to wonder if a seven-foot tall skeleton wearing a staw hat _was_ in fact, a normal sight. He would have to do some investigations into the matter, but for now he would engage in some small-talk.

"You have...the most striking blue eyes," observed Carlos. "It's...like looking into infinity," he added uncertainly. It _was_ like looking into infinity. Bill Door didn't have eyes like normal people did, of course. They were empty sockets, but not entirely dark. A blue glow emitted from within and gazing into that glow was akin to gazing across space and time to a distant primordial place before, and paradoxically after all of human existence. Most humans, at this point, would be quivering and they would have done something typical such as dropping whatever drink they were holding while not even noticing. Carlos only nodded in Scientific Interest.

* * *

 

1\. As it turns out, very few people actually perceive reality as it truly is. If something seems impossible to a person's limited worldview, the brain typically fills in the information with something it can understand.

2\. Drinking to forget is especially difficult to those individuals who can not only remember the past, but " _premember_ " future events as well. There is quite a lot to forget for one with such a condition.


End file.
